Through my travels here at USU I’ve found many interesting discoveries and hidden things:
Discovery #1
Longest stairs
Weirdest shaped desk.
I don't know who’s the genius engineer behind this masterpiece. “we want the desk to be able to be written on… BUT only on PARTS of it! Lets put random nooks and holes on it just to make life hard!
Discovery #3
Shortest drinking fountain.
I literally had to Indian sit on the floor to drink out of it. It’s like a foot off the ground! If you’re that small, I don’t think you’re going to have the muscle capacity to push that hard medal button down to make water come out…
Discovery #4
Most provocative grocery store.
Discovery #5
Creepiest elevator.
I was wandering in some of the most hidden parts of campus and I found an elevator, pushed the button and when the door opened, I was instantly petrified. I was like SCARED to go in. I’m not sure why…
Discovery #6
No matter what bathroom you walk into anywhere at a given moment, there will be at least ONE unflushed urinal.
Discovery #7
Best personal ad.
It reads, “Girlfriend turned into lord voldomort. $2000 Never worn.” I love seeing all the wedding rings on the bulletin board, cuz you KNOW every single one of them were failed attempts of proposing. I think it should be a requirement to include the story in the ad, “I THOUGHT she liked me, so I sold everything I had and bought this shiny rock, thinkin that would make her want to marry me… and apparently life’s not a Taylor Swift music video.” Tough lesson to be learned Billy… Tough lesson…
Discovery #8
Coolest shower.
This thing had 5 showerheads shooting at me. There is no WAY you can’t have a great day after that. It’s like sitting in a hot-tub without the tub, but might make for an awkward social gathering. “Hey, wanna come to my place and take a shower? NO DON’T WALK AWAY! It’s COOL I SWEAR!! It’s got FIVE heads! FIVE!” gets them every time…
Discovery #9
Heh heh heh…
Discovery #10
Best hotel shirt ever. (not that I see too many people strutting around with them “That’s right… Best Western… That’s the only place I’ll sleep when I travel. Won’t have it any other way.”)
It reads: Rattle snake Inn: The snake awaits...
Discovery #11
I thought this was funny.
Some kids write, “we cook for girls!” hoping to get some sweet action from the babes flocking to their door to take them up on their offer. So their neighbors write, “Girls cook for US!” In hopes that these same babes will be flocking to their door! ...holding a casserole. Finally the brilliant guys below them write, “We cook girls…” and probably rolled out their 150 Gallon cauldron hoping for girls to jump in. My guess is none of their dreams became realities… Just a wild guess… or hope… “3 freshman from BYU arrested for cooking girls” That would definitely give you creeper status.
Well that’s all the discoveries I have for today. If you or your friends have any discoveries or success stories, email them to clubfilm@gmail.com and if any of you want to receive these newsletters by email, just type your email into that little box in the top right corner of the screen.
Thanks for coming. see you all next week.
Your friend,
JBUDD
