FIFTEEN, SIXTEEN, A BIG FAT SHMLIXTEEN? (Revival)

We're all in the same fish bowl of life. Running over the same old grounds. All meeting at one common place we call… JBUDD NEWS.

OOOOHHH YEAAAAH!!! Stretch those arms and fingertips out… WOOOH! Here we are folks… We’re here once again! Can you believe it? Did you do a double take when you saw that email in your inbox? Did your heart drop as if you just received a letter from your long lost lover that you thought died in a fire? Well… I didn’t die in a fire… I just… needed some time to clear my head that’s all… THEN you’re probably gonna think that I’m some proteinic jerk, for faking my death, just to get away from you… then you’ll cry a little, but after some time, the stab will turn into a dull ache, and the humor you once found in JBUDD news will return…
Not much has happened the last two years, so I’ll just jump to the chase… I’m not sure where or what the chase is… but we’re going to be jumping to it… so buckle up…

I was thinking about seatbelts like two days ago… MY WHOLE LIFE I’ve worn this thing… in elementary school that’s the first thing they teach you. Wear a seatbelt. The second is look both ways before crossing the road… the kids that don’t pass THAT test usually don’t make it to the end of first grade, so they figured they’d put it first on the syllabus… I’ve worn that noose we call seatbelts for 20 years… and what has it done for me? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! It has never once prevented me from dying… and that’s pretty strait across the board for everyone I’m pretty sure… We DEFINITELY wear the seatbelt more when we DON’T need it, than we wear it while crashing into something… I’m pretty sure the ratio is like a billion to one. The only problem is if you’re NOT wearing it when that moment of truth comes, you’re skrewed… So every trip we take, we put it on, knowing that we probably won’t need it, but knowing that someday we might need it, so we just anticipate the day when all of our sweat and pain have paid off… all the times we kinked our arms back and pulled a muscle trying to reach the buckle… all the wasted energy in snapping it in… I think MY first car crash I’m going to be ecstatic. I’m gonna jump out of the car cheering… IT WORKED IT WORKED! for after much labor comes the reward… and that’s the only reward you’re gonna get. A messed up car, and your life…

ANYWAY>>>>>

The summer is coming to the close, and we’re all going to be moving out to college soon… when I say all of us, I mean all those that will be going to college. For those of you that don’t know, I’m going to be going to the place of Logan, to the university they call utah state. I’m moving up on the pyramid, when I left I was at a state college, NOW I’m officially at a University… So you can now start calling me MR. JBUDD…

I got me an apartment The locals like to call the place, “old farm” I’m no business marketing genius, but that place doesn’t sound too appetizing… what’s the first thing you think of when you hear, “OLD FARM…” just close your eyes and picture it… what do you see? AN OLD FARM!!! A big field with fences made from logs from the 1800’s that the bugs have rotted away, and the second story has fallen into the first, and just cows and poo… What type of image are they going for? So I’m gonna bring my cowboy boots and hat, and show up to the office riding a horse, and ask the manager there, “NOW WHERE’S this OLD FARM I be hearin ‘bout? All I see is a bunch of HOUSES!” then just see what they say… I’ll just hold a strait face…

The best part about switching colleges, and living with a bunch of dudes that you never met, is that they know NOTHING about you! You can just completely rewrite your history, and make stuff up, and they’ll just automatically BELIEVE YOU!… so this is my plan. This isn’t a joke, when I go down to college, I’m changing my name to “rain” when you meet someone new, you ask for their name, and what do they usually say? There name! you don’t second guess it… so since I’m gonna be meeting a LOT of new people, I’m just gonna say I’m rain, and go with a new image… I’m gonna where cowboy boots, ride a horse to school, and in my spare time I’m going to plant corn where the grass used to be by our apartment, to get back to the old farm look that we miss so much… yee haw! Giddy up!

So next time, I’ll report to you guys on how my new nickname is going down there… so thanks for reading, and until next time…. JBUDD OUT!!!!

Well that finishes the Newsletter for this week. If you want to add anyone to our secret community. Have them email clubfilm@gmail.com and put the subject as, "ADD"

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,
JBUDD

P.P.S

If you smell your hands right after you hold a bunch of pennies. You can pretend for a moment that you're actually a robot.