Friday, December 25, 2009

Santa Claus Caught Red Shirt-ed!

What am I doing writing on Christmas eve? Shouldn’t you be frantically waiting with anticipation for Santa to come down my non-existent chimney? Well… Santa has already been spotted… at like 10 o clock this year. He’s starting to have an earlier curfew than I remember. I walked outside this OFFICE I’m presently sitting in, and I screamed, because there he was! The old Nick himself… I heard if you see him in person that your blood BOILS and you melt to the ground and turn to dust… or was that Indiana Jones? Doesn’t matter. But I saw him! He was wearing J-shorts, and a little Santa shirt, and was stuffing the stockings… I gave out a yelp, and he said, “Hey, it’s Santa, dressed up like your dad!” for a moment, I doubted my Santa faith… Had all my prayers to Santa since I was 5 gone to waste? but as the good book says, “you receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” And I think that was a big trial just now… and I overcame… and because of that… Santa is going to reach deep into his ever giving bag of mystical wonder, and pull me out a new camero… like the one I saw in Transformers, which I watched for the first time 2 days ago.

One question… why did the cube turn all the electronics into BAD transformers? Where are all the good ones coming from then? Answer THAT my friend… and if they can just choose to be any ol vehicle they wanted, as they suggested when those comet robots hit the ground, and chose the car of their choice to become… then why didn’t they ALL choose to be Really sick fighter Jets? If you can answer both of those questions, I’ll give you a cracker jack maybe. I got this cool new comment box at the bottom of the page, which you can sign in with your facebook account and post… pretty nifty… speaking of… anyone notice the new design of this webpage? I sure did… probably cuz I spent hours figuring out how to web design…

but if you ever are feeling low and blue,
and just need to figure out what to do,
when the tears come streaming down your face,
and you lose something you cant replace,
when all is lost,
and nothing is found,
don’t forget to turn that frown upside down.
Just open up your browser of choice (since there’s like 50 now)
And make a little invoice…

And when I say invoice, I really meant, go to jbuddnews and just admire it’s beauty… and think to yourself… What have I done with my life? Will I ever amount to anything? And when you look at that cool design… you’ll realize, NO… no you won't… so stop waiting for Santa to come down his chimney, cuz he AINT coming for YOU… he only visits people on his NICE list… and sends the rest of the people coal! I wonder where he gets all that coal from… he has to be running some sweat shop to do it. I’m sure he’s breaking labor laws all OVER the place.

If I ever got the coal in the stocking, I think I would just say to myself, “REAL mature Santa… REAL mature! Can you get any more ORIGINAL than that? Haven’t you gotten sick of your little practical joke, coal in the stocking yet? Is it still funny to you?

Actually that must be a pretty funny the first 100 times. When I have kids, I’m gonna try that one out… see if it scars them for life or not… could be a good experiment. They wake up all groggy on Christmas morning, excited to see the toys underneath the tree, and then BAM. NOTHIN! Just a big pile of black coal staining the carpet… and I’ll walk out of my room and be like, “SHOOT!!! TIMMY!! I KNEW you shouldn’t have gotten in a fight with your sister! NOW look what you’ve done! You’ve RUINED CHRISTMAS! NO PRESents for ANYONE!!! Probably the neighbors next door TOO! All because of YOOOUU!!!

What do you think would happen to that kid? Enlighten me….

Well since we’re on the topic of my website… or Santa… whichever… I added a new little button at the top called, “JBUDD FILMS” you should check it out ;) … ONLY while you’re contemplating the meaning of life of course… yes yes yes…

Speaking of JBUDD FILMS… we have released a new movie. Me and my whistling quartet decided to put out a new Christmas album and made a music video to go with it.

The video was inspired while me and Jeremy were sitting in the hallway one night, and started harmonizing our whistles, and started laughing uncontrollably… and “the sweater sweeties” was born. If you have any friends who have shown interest in whistling quartets and completely homo-dancing, be sure to forward the video to them ;)

I think we’ve got time for a comment

This will blow your mind... and could be the theme of festivus 2009 stache forever...and i am not going to start mine until saturday...sorry i need to be clean shaven til she leaves right???:)

For those of you who don’t know… we’re having a mustache growing contest right now. I probably should have told you guys earlier so you could have joined in too… but maybe next time we’ll have the pictures posted up. And YOU guys get to be judges to ‘audience choice” mustache. Sound gravy? Good. And all you mustache growers out there… explain to me what a mustache is like in 5 words or less. We should be having our festivus party this week sometime. And as the great Coldplay once said… “lets talk… lets ta-a-a-a-alk.” We’ll talk ;) Merry Christmas


This is how my stache is doing so far…  and I'm pretty sure this is what I look like whenever I'm writing these things.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

How to Fall into a Pot-hole #22

Recently people have been searching my site for the following question:
can i sue the city from injury from street pot hole?  

The answer: YES.  But like any other case, you need solid evidence that the injury wasn't your fault, and was the fault of their negligence.  One problem is you'd be suing for damages, or in other words, to pay for how much money the injury costed you.  (emotional distress/doctor bills/absence from work/damage to car/etc.)  In most cases that wouldn't be too much money, like in the following real life story:

****Story of the Week****

In my business law class we were discussing landlord's responsibilities to their tenants, and one of their responsibilities is to make repairs to anything that might cause injury… FOR example: The rain gutter right above my doorway is broken, which causes some sweet spillage, creating this decent puddle right outside my door. To add fire to the fuel, I live in LOGAN! and if hell was located here, it would indeed be frozen over. So this puddle is soon going to turn into a nice sheet of black ice… NOW all I need to do is slip on it, and break some sweet bone-age, and I can sue for damages! So I’ve been biding my time and waiting for that sweet payout. I just need a couple ace bandages, and I’ll be set! Now I better not catch any of you eyeing my puddle down… it’s MINE! NO BATTLE! I’d like to see a no battle hold up in court.
“prosecutor JBUDD claims that he ‘no battled’ it.”
(gasp from the jury)
“So NATURALY the money from the injury should go to HIM”
At this point a marching band will walk in playing “America the beautiful” and everyone will stand up, and salute me, with a tear trickling down each person’s cheek. Prosecutor WINS with the unanimous vote from the jury and audience… even the DEFENDANT who shant be named would have to agree…

ANYWAY #1>>>

So the story goes like so:
It was a dark night. A batman logo’ed spotlight shines frantically thru the air. Meanwhile on the street below sits an innocent little boy by the name of JBUDD. Little JBUDD just wanted to go play some ultimate Frisbee with his friends, so he ran across the street to go home and slip into something a little more comfortable. Being properly dressed, he’s about to make his way across the street into his friends apartment… something doesn’t seem right… The football stadium lights are blaring on his left. He watches as the cars pass, their headlights blaring in his eyes, just waiting for an opening to cross the wide street. He sees a small opening, so he goes to dash across the road, when suddenly he realizes that the ground is closer, and he’s not going anywhere. He hears two girls off in the distance gasp as he looks down, and finds that his leg is in a gimungous pot hole. The girls rush over to his assistance, and he jumps out, and examines his bleeding leg. The girls insisted that he come in and get bandaged up, but HE had an appointment with a Frisbee and could NOT be late. So he hurried over that lonesome road… THE END

I know what you’re all thinking, “wait… you fell into a pot hole?” well… YES! But you got to SEE the size of this thing:

That was no ordinary pot hole! that thing was like the grand canyon got together with the road outside my house, and had a baby. So the first thing I did was start ranting and raving about how the city was liable for that, and I should SUE them, and make them fix it, cuz that was right in the way of running across the road. I was telling the story to a lot of people after asked the question: “what happened to your leg” and this one girl said the same thing happened to her DAD! That little tweep was going to steal my law suit! But alas it was too late… a week later… I found THIS:

And about a month later, this is the desolation of a once great hole:

It lived great... and it died great... how many people fell victim of it's tyranny? we'll never know... but lets pay homage to the beast, with a moment of silence...

So the moral of this story is… You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take… yeah… that sounds about right…

Now I want to take a moment of silence for my poor leg skin. Turn on some sappy slow love song, and then slowly scan thru some photo’s from the past…

In OTHER news, we have another addition to the J-Films Family, it’s entitled: THE APARTMENT which is basically just a remake of the office. Enjoy:
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