Friday, December 25, 2009

Santa Claus Caught Red Shirt-ed!

What am I doing writing on Christmas eve? Shouldn’t you be frantically waiting with anticipation for Santa to come down my non-existent chimney? Well… Santa has already been spotted… at like 10 o clock this year. He’s starting to have an earlier curfew than I remember. I walked outside this OFFICE I’m presently sitting in, and I screamed, because there he was! The old Nick himself… I heard if you see him in person that your blood BOILS and you melt to the ground and turn to dust… or was that Indiana Jones? Doesn’t matter. But I saw him! He was wearing J-shorts, and a little Santa shirt, and was stuffing the stockings… I gave out a yelp, and he said, “Hey, it’s Santa, dressed up like your dad!” for a moment, I doubted my Santa faith… Had all my prayers to Santa since I was 5 gone to waste? but as the good book says, “you receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” And I think that was a big trial just now… and I overcame… and because of that… Santa is going to reach deep into his ever giving bag of mystical wonder, and pull me out a new camero… like the one I saw in Transformers, which I watched for the first time 2 days ago.

One question… why did the cube turn all the electronics into BAD transformers? Where are all the good ones coming from then? Answer THAT my friend… and if they can just choose to be any ol vehicle they wanted, as they suggested when those comet robots hit the ground, and chose the car of their choice to become… then why didn’t they ALL choose to be Really sick fighter Jets? If you can answer both of those questions, I’ll give you a cracker jack maybe. I got this cool new comment box at the bottom of the page, which you can sign in with your facebook account and post… pretty nifty… speaking of… anyone notice the new design of this webpage? I sure did… probably cuz I spent hours figuring out how to web design…

but if you ever are feeling low and blue,
and just need to figure out what to do,
when the tears come streaming down your face,
and you lose something you cant replace,
when all is lost,
and nothing is found,
don’t forget to turn that frown upside down.
Just open up your browser of choice (since there’s like 50 now)
And make a little invoice…

And when I say invoice, I really meant, go to jbuddnews and just admire it’s beauty… and think to yourself… What have I done with my life? Will I ever amount to anything? And when you look at that cool design… you’ll realize, NO… no you won't… so stop waiting for Santa to come down his chimney, cuz he AINT coming for YOU… he only visits people on his NICE list… and sends the rest of the people coal! I wonder where he gets all that coal from… he has to be running some sweat shop to do it. I’m sure he’s breaking labor laws all OVER the place.

If I ever got the coal in the stocking, I think I would just say to myself, “REAL mature Santa… REAL mature! Can you get any more ORIGINAL than that? Haven’t you gotten sick of your little practical joke, coal in the stocking yet? Is it still funny to you?

Actually that must be a pretty funny the first 100 times. When I have kids, I’m gonna try that one out… see if it scars them for life or not… could be a good experiment. They wake up all groggy on Christmas morning, excited to see the toys underneath the tree, and then BAM. NOTHIN! Just a big pile of black coal staining the carpet… and I’ll walk out of my room and be like, “SHOOT!!! TIMMY!! I KNEW you shouldn’t have gotten in a fight with your sister! NOW look what you’ve done! You’ve RUINED CHRISTMAS! NO PRESents for ANYONE!!! Probably the neighbors next door TOO! All because of YOOOUU!!!

What do you think would happen to that kid? Enlighten me….

Well since we’re on the topic of my website… or Santa… whichever… I added a new little button at the top called, “JBUDD FILMS” you should check it out ;) … ONLY while you’re contemplating the meaning of life of course… yes yes yes…

Speaking of JBUDD FILMS… we have released a new movie. Me and my whistling quartet decided to put out a new Christmas album and made a music video to go with it.

The video was inspired while me and Jeremy were sitting in the hallway one night, and started harmonizing our whistles, and started laughing uncontrollably… and “the sweater sweeties” was born. If you have any friends who have shown interest in whistling quartets and completely homo-dancing, be sure to forward the video to them ;)

I think we’ve got time for a comment

This will blow your mind... and could be the theme of festivus 2009 stache forever...and i am not going to start mine until saturday...sorry i need to be clean shaven til she leaves right???:)

For those of you who don’t know… we’re having a mustache growing contest right now. I probably should have told you guys earlier so you could have joined in too… but maybe next time we’ll have the pictures posted up. And YOU guys get to be judges to ‘audience choice” mustache. Sound gravy? Good. And all you mustache growers out there… explain to me what a mustache is like in 5 words or less. We should be having our festivus party this week sometime. And as the great Coldplay once said… “lets talk… lets ta-a-a-a-alk.” We’ll talk ;) Merry Christmas


This is how my stache is doing so far…  and I'm pretty sure this is what I look like whenever I'm writing these things.

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