Thursday, June 21, 2007

Numero el fifteeno (last one.)

Well Ladymen and GENTLEmen, this may be the last JBUDD NEWZ (ooh, z) ye shall be receiving from me for two years.

SO last time I asked ye where you thought I would be going, and I never actually announced any winners. Here’s what some of YOU guessed:

Kyle Challis: Provo, Utah.
>>>>COMMENT: uh… I think I’d make up a sin just to NOT go there. I’m sorry I commited…. Jazzer…fi…CATION! JAZZERFICATION! Sorry bishop I can’t go! (just kidding. I’d go there if I had to.)

Rachel Holt:
1. Florida? only because I can't spell Louisanna
2. Brazil, because I mean, EVERYONE goes to brazil, its the cool place to be apparently. I wish I was there. think of all those missionaries...mmmm...
3. Poland. uh huh.
>>>>>COMMENT: I don’t know what possessed you to give THREE answers, I specifically asked for ONE! But irregardless, you’re wrong! Get out of here!

>>>>>COMMENT: Baby? as in: I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby?

Meagan Bentley:
first of all...Canada
second of all- the beach boys, one of the first boy bands, often speak of
wanting to GET married…
First of all… ok, you’re WRONG
SECOND of all… I know you are but what am I! HA!

Meagan Wyllie: I guess the southwest like Arizona or Texas.
>>>>>COMMENT: OOH, two Meagan’s, and two answers! PARTY!

Brayden Kemp: Witchita, Kanses...or maybe Oklahoma City, Oklahoma...we could be missionary companions...but nonetheless, I am saying, Witchita.
>>>>>COMMENT: first of all, it’s Wichita, I only know that because spell check underlined it. BUT if their actually ARE witches in Wichita, then I think the spelling is robbing the town of some sweet tourism action.

Katie Sparrow (Jack sparrow’s little sister…)
I'm not sure where you'll go...i'm going to say Africa....
>>>>>COMMENT: really? You’re not sure? Africa’s kinda a big guess… You should have just said, “EARTH, I CALL EARTH! NO ONE ELSE CAN TAKE IT! NO BATTLE! …. yes!...”

OK, before I announce the winner, I’d like to spank (thank) all the participants, and the good workers here at JBUDD NEWS who spend the time every day editing through all the thousands of emails I get to ensure that only the BEST get in here. ;) and most of all, I’d like to thank myself for writing these. Ok:

I just measured the mileage, and I’d just like to mention that no one was even CLOSE. The closest would be at the horn of Africa measuring 4,727 miles. Congrats captain sparrow, you win! The TOP PRIZE is a picture of me I’ll email you. And in last place was hatch face’s Argentina which is very close to the EXACT OPPOSITE end of the world measuring 11,319 miles! Congrats?

OK, I’ve got a few things to tell ye before I do some rambling.

WHEN: JUNE 24th, at 9:00am
WHERE: church on the corner of 13400 S and 2700 W in RIVERTON
HOW: dressed in church cloths

Remember those invitations you’d get to like your best friends birthday party? WHO WHAT WHEN WERE HOW! I think the point was to teach the kid how to plan something logically, “wait… I need to tell them WHEN? WHERE? What is this thing? MOM! Plan my party for me!” At least that’s how it was when I was a kid. My friends never planned there birthday party, heck, we would even have our moms CALL the other kid over, “can you have Brandon come over and play with me?” maybe that’s because no one actually WANTED to play with me, so I had to get my mom to talk to there mom and FORCE them to… yeah, being a kid was great. Imagine trying that out now. HEY MOM! Can you force Hillary to go on a date with me? Actually, lets just get married.


The day: Tuesday june 19th.
The time: 3:00pm

I was sitting at my house all bored when I went to go into my room to get some shoes to put on, when I noticed my door was turned away from me. MEANING someone was in there. That’s when I heard it, my mother in her best nagging voice says to me, “I wish you’d learn how to use a hanger, I payed blah blah blah suit blah blah blah dry clean.” And of course my defenses are THROWN up! “well I wish you wouldn’t clean my room!” ooh, good comeback! Well she retaliated with something I don’t remember, but this for a moment had me all worked up so I went back upstairs and thought, what if when she came back up, I was gone! The old traditional childhood thought. But don’t discredit me too much, I quickly laughed and thought at how childish I was being. Then I thought about it some more… hey, that would be pretty fun. Just jump on my bike and start riding. I entertained this thought for awhile debating on whether I should or not. So finally I got my sleeping bag, a jug of water and jumped on my piece of HUNK bike. And I said I’d just start riding and fall asleep wherever I ended up. It just so happened to be I was in Provo when it became night time. So long story short I climbed to the “Y” and slept up there. Pretty much was the worst sleep of my life. Not gonna lie.

But I did discover a few things on this long journey all by myself:

Discovery #1:
My back hurts from carrying this stupid sleeping bag with me. Why did I do that?

Discovery #2:
While listening to coldplay and riding your bike, sing along at the top of your lungs. In return you will receive funny looks from passing people. It will make you smile.

Discovery #3:
Hey I found a natural hot spring!

Discovery #4: hiking the Y is really hard after riding 50 miles

Discovery #5: Find level ground to sleep on. Otherwise you’ll keep sliding down towards that 3 foot cliff.

Discovery #6: Sitting down on your bike seat after a day of biking SUCKS.


So then I woke up at 6:00 and jumped on the bus back to riverton and as I did, I pondered a few things:

The bus is REALLY just a waiting room on wheels. You walk up to the receptionist (the driver) He tells you you’re at the right place, and that your destination will be right with you. It’s about a half hour wait. You sit down; you get comfortable, maybe pull out something to read… “I wonder what’s wrong with THAT guy…” Hoping to avoid small talk at any cost.
I wanna hop on a bus that has only one person on it and just sit RIGHT NEXT to them, and not say a word. Maybe even lean on them a little. Now THAT would be awkward. There’s like this unwritten rule that no one can talk. One day before I die, I want those bus doors to open, and as they do, I hear the pounding techno music being blasted in my ears. I walk up to the bus driver (who’s dressed like a clown from the 80’s…) and everyone cheers my name in complete sync, “JBUDD!” There’s drinks, tables, card games. Not too many people are sitting down… I mean, they give you that BAR to hang on to while standing up. Which provides the perfect “flirt stance” for guys and girls, one hand on the bar, the other one CASUALLY in the pocket, or used for the occasional ‘tap on the shoulder’ followed by laughter. Really, the bus should be a GREAT place to meet people. “so… you ride the bus too huh?”
anyway, enough with my fantasy.

I also like to look around at all the signs posted all over. My personal favorite, is the “seeing eye dog” being allowed, as opposed to NORMAL pets not… my first thought is… they’re blind! What good is that picture going to do! But don’t worry the smart people at UTA made sure that all the rules are posted in BRAIL underneath the corresponding picture! I wanna JUST ONCE in my life time, be sitting on the back row of the bus. When this crazy lunatic runs in with his seeing eye dog. Finds the nearest wall and just starts feeling around. “I’VE GOT TO FIND THE RULES! WHERE ARE THEY? There’s a wall here PEOPLE, and I know there’s brail SOMEWHERE on it!” meanwhile, everyone’s just pissed at him as he’s running into them. “No combustibles on the bus? Since when?”

WELL. I’m done. The end.
JBUDD NEWS, adieux.

ps. I wrote a poem real fast
JBUDD news
you are cool
when I was 2
I used to drool

JBUDD news
oh baby
oh baby
JBUDD NEWS! (guitar riff.)
the end.
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