Friday, November 24, 2006


AHHH the great thanksgiving is over. The great beast has been slain and eaten. Isn't that what thanksgiving is all about? Eating? People try to argue that it's actually about family, being thankful for stuff, and all that fruity stuff. but deep down we all know what it's about. Stop beating around the bush. The pilgrims came across on the mayflower and said to the Indians, "I wonder how much food I can shove down my throat before It comes back up" This was the great introduction to the Indians from the white race. Not much has changed since then. I personally downed 11 pounds of food throughout the day. I weighed myself in the morning. I weighed my self at the end of the day. 11 pounds heavier…. NOW THAT'S the TRUE meaning of thanksgiving. Am I right? … I know what you're all thinking… "NO" but again, who's news letter is this? MINE.

ANYWAY so I'm driving around last night with my good friend sheen. And we're wanting to go deer stacking. And while we're looking for deer, we're looking at all the houses decorations. we come across this house that has uh hem…. TWO BIG PUMKIN LIGHTS ON THE OUTSIDE. I'm not sure if this guy didn't get the memo but… Halloween is OVER! Or maybe this guy just got lazy, chose a holiday, and decided that he's just going to keep these decorations up all year long. And once a year his decorations actually ARE in season.

This got me thinking… why don't they make one GIANT decoration that fits all the seasons. One that works with all the holidays. Independence day, Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas, labor day, memorial day. And then you just leave it out all year long. We could make it sort of like a mascot. I mean independence day has uncle Sam. Christmas has Santa. Easter has the Easter bunny.

So I motion that we make Steve, the new mascot for the EVERYTHING holiday. Just strait up Steve. I mean you can write letters to Steve all year long for the upcoming holidays. You only need to remember ONE address. Which happens to be the SOUTH POLE. Decorating would be at an all time easy level. All you have to do is write the letters, "STEVE" on your lawn. Or if you wanna get fancy you can actually buy a manikin, and put a nametag on him that says, "Hello my name is Steve" on it. OR if you want to get Even fancier Wal-Mart is currently developing little light up Steve's that can hang from your roof top. But we're not expected to be finished until 2008.

This way, all the houses in the neighborhood would all be unified. Under the great Steve all year long. Unless you're Jewish of course.

ANYWAYS… I kind of got carried away there. That was just supposed to be my intro and it ended up being HUGE. But the story for the week is a piece that I like to call: "the bus" or if you're French, "le bus" and if you're Jewish, you're already offended, but you'd still call it. " the bus"

I'm a poor man. So I ride the bus. (short and sweet) And I personally think that if you ever are feeling down. Just jump on the nearest bus. And LOOK AROUND. You will find the strangest people on the bus. You will find people that when you look at that "no pets" sign hanging up on the front. You wonder if THEY apply as well.

So I've met some very interesting people on these busses. I LOVE IT! I meet some people that I look up to. This one kid just will jump on a bus after school, and just ride the route all day just talking to people. Then some people I feel would be a disgrace to STEVE himself. Piercing up the butt… possibly literally. Well the bus story I'm going to share with you today happened last Friday.

So I just get done taking the longest test of my life. It was so long that when I stood up I almost fell over. And I have a date in like 30 min. it takes 30 min to for the bus to get to my house. So I'm already late. So I jump on the 6:00 bus. The date started at 6. so I'm looking at 30 minutes late. Now this sucks already.

So I'm on the bus and we come to the mall bus stop. And there he is. The mother load himself. I'll call him Juan. He's probably about 220lbs and his army camo pants have something distinctive about them. They seem to be wet in the crotchal area. He peed his pants. But LUCKILY the smell was drowned out by the smell of rum on him. He's holding this almost empty gallon waterbottle of rum. OH BOY!!! And of course he comes and sits next to me. What do you think I was thinking? Well I was actually thinking "YES! This will get interesting" which brings me to jesse's rule number 1.

JBudd's First law of Socialism:
"for every negative circumstance there is. There is a positive story to come along with it. therefore, there's no such thing as bad circumstances. Everything ends up being for the better. It will either be humbling, funny, or it will teach you a lesson."

So we start talking. He can hardly keep his head up. And he kept taking periodic drinks from his bottle.

We start off. He tells me that a mission is a waste of my time. That God is the Army. And the son of god is George bush. And that I should join the army instead of going on a mission. And basically he reminded me of one of my uncles.

Periodically he kept asking, "is this the 811" and the bus we were on was the "830" so I kept telling him, "NO, this is the 830" "where am I" "your on the wrong bus" but he stayed on this bus. And basically he shocked me with two actually correct principles.

Juans First law of Success:
"pray to god. He answers your prayers."

Juans Second law of success:
"write down what you want to become in your life. And every morning when you wake up. Read it. and you will become it."

interesting huh?
Long story short. He keeps telling me this stuff over and over and over again. I get off the bus. He's yelling across the bus and stuff. Ya know, all the good stuff drunk people do. I go to drop off my backpack and deodorize for the date. Try to get that rum smell out of my cloths. And behold the Steve's weren't on my side. Because our apartment is locked. And I don't have a key. So I had to leave my backpack there and walk to the ward house where our date was being held. And I went on a date with a 22 year old. 22. in my book, that age of people talk to my parents not me.

But it was a good date like always. I don't have bad dates. And if I do, Jesse's first law of Socialism kicks in. ;)

Thanks for Listening. JBUDD OUT!

Hey Jesse,
I like your whole newsletter idea, and i was bored so i created this little intro clip in blender for ya. I hope you like it. And maybe, since your are a computer and movie editing wiz, you can use it on your newsletters as your intro, i don't know, i just thought that this looked way cool. well, i guess i will talk to you later. if it doesn't work, let me know, i know that macs can be lame sometimes, if not all the time. j/k

Brad Clawson

(the Claw)

Awesome. I made a little desktop picture with your logo.

So all you people who want this for your background. Go ahead and download it.

But this gave me an idea chaps. What if I made a website? Any opinions? Talk to me.

oh my shiz you are my hero jesse budd!

Taylor Olsen

Thanks. For your testimonial Taylor. But This is a prime example of what I'm trying to cut down on.

When I ask you guys to comment what I really want is possibly a funny story that happened to you. Maybe some advise you need from me. Or if any of my material worked in your week. SO I give everyone the assignment to write me at least once this week OK? And of course I still do like the "YOUR AWESOME" comments. So keep them coming boys.

hey put me on your list. this is actually only the first email i have received. so send the rest to me.


Um, that last one was sort of the first one. The other one I just sent to a few choice Film club members to see if they liked the idea. And then the rest is history.

HOLY COW. I just had some killer de ja vou (spell check?) right now. Anyway…

Well that finishes the Newsletter for this week. If you want to add anyone to our secret community. Have them email and put the subject as, "ADD"

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,


If you smell your hands right after you hold a bunch of pennies. You can pretend for a moment that you're actually a robot.

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