Secret Student Cooking Ideas

As a busy college student, balancing your life between: school, work, dating, and trying to make your band famous... you sometimes forget one of the most important factors of life... what is it you ask?  well silly... it's FOOD! :) 

In the upcoming days I'm going to teach you the secrets that no cookbook dares to share. I will teach you how not only eat gourmet meals with 30 min or less preparation... but how to do it CHEAP.

 

Recipe 1

     Requirements:

      -Ability to read

      -Tied shoes

      -Large winter coat (only applicable to USU students)

Take advantage of every free food opportunities you can find.  Look on your local school calendar to find out when your student association will be hosting some gag activity with free food in hopes to con you into something. Frat houses are always insecure and looking for cool new members like you.  Just make sure that they don't know you think they're lame before you eat their free meal.  This works best around eating holidays like Thanksgiving.

BEFORE

AFTER

Recipe #2 - El Frozen Burrito

Now I’m going to show you some of JBUDD’s OWN special dishes that will keep your colon clean.

My first recipe is an old family recipe from Mexico.  When polygamy was banned from the US, my ancestors were forced to move to Mexico where they learned the ways of the people there, and learned of such dishes as: “El Frozen Burrito”

Simply buy a western family pack of 10 burritos.  Put 2 of them on a plate and gently place in the microwave and set the timer for 3 minutes.  Hit start, walk away, then take a leak.  When you come back, they’ll unavoidably be busted open, but that's the compromise you have to take... It's either busted open burrito or still frozen in the middle burrito.  There is no happy middle ground...

Bon apatite!

Recipe #3 - Stealing... in a nice way...

We're gonna talk a little more about getting gain. Some of you might run into a problem with an old friend of yours called, "your conscience," but as the good book says:  "Yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die..."

Requirements

 -Justification to battle your cognitive dissonance.

 -Endowed friends

 -Good poker face

Sometimes your friends will get caught up in a pyramid scheme to sell Redbull… They may even build a pyramid of them on your table… take advantage of them, and take a few… believe me, they’ll NEVER notice.

Your fellow neighbor girls might think that one of your roommates is as fly as a kite, and bring over free brownies, cookies, egg nog and/or hot chocolate… We always called that, "getting some." What exactly was it we were getting?  Brownies, cookies, and hot chocolate... (duh!)

Free food is always a good cop out… but unfortunately  sometimes people DON’T just give you stuff… Piece of cake (or waffle), CON them into it!  We found much success in throwing together a weekly “waffle party” and having people donate the ingredients and labor.  It was brilliant really, just say waffle wednesday, and you'll be getting free food in no time!  We even had a little jar for donations, but unfortunately it didn't work as well as the "feed the hungry" jar I had in the school store...

as always... Bon Apatite!

PS.  Whenever you "get some" be sure to text a picture of your "some" to JBUDDNEWS inc. at clubfilm@gmail.com and your "some" will be featured in JBUDD NEWS.  While you're at it, go ahead and tell us your success story in getting gain, that we may all learn from one anothers experience and be strengthened together.

DISCLAIMER
all pictures will become property of JBUDDNEWS inc.

Recipe #4 - Balognia (Gotta love Italian food!)

Smart food tip from JBUDD:
After you’ve capitalized on everyone else, you’ll probably have to buy some food of your own to make up for the lost nutrients in all that waffle batter and syrup. Here’s a list of good healthy ingredients that will keep your busy neurons firing.


-Bread (make sure it's the good kind.  cheep stuff is cheap for a reason, because most of it is made of AIR.  Seriously, if you take that FarmBread loaf right there, and some WonderBread, and mushed them into a ball like you used to as a kid, I'd bet the FarmBread would be twice as big of a ball... I'm just sayin...)
-Eggs
-Frozen Burritos
-Hamburger helper
-Milk
-Hot Dogs
-Doritos
-Yogurt


Recipe of the day:
For my next treat, the bologna and cheese sandwich… Sounds simple, but you need to learn a few tips:
  1st. NAMED BRAND CHEESE! Do not SETTLE for budget American cheese. This stuff is already processed enough to go cheep on. You’re eating imitation cheese for crying out loud, do you want the imitation form of imitation? Believe me, it tastes like rubber.

   2nd. Get the NORMAL sliced bologna. If you’re not careful you might accidently pick up the thick sliced one which only comes with 8 thick slices… in other words, 8 sandwhiches, which is NOTHING compared to the regular 20 pack. Same price too!

 After you got your bread, balognia, cheese, mayo and mustard.  Throw them all together until you have a tastey gormet Italian dish.  If you're confused, just use my picture as a reference:

Bon Apatite!

Recipe #5 - Hot dog de la carte

Next in the bologna family is the hotdog, made from the same meat slurry as bologna, but enhanced by its cylindrical shape. Hot dogs are an important part of a college diet because of its nutritional value. It’s gotta be one of the most nutritional meats out there, cuz each bite is filled with proteins and essential amino acids from like SEVEN different animals!

I’ve always wondered how they make hot dogs. They have that seam down the side of it, makes me think that it’s pressed into a mold. They probably first pick their lineup of animals for the day, “lets see… cow, pig, chicken… what the heck, take Whiskers too!” get a gigantic blender, hit frappe, until they get a nice pinkish red hue of paste like meat, then load the slurry into a big tank that pumps the juice into little meet injectors, which in turn is injected into the hotdog cylinders as they pass by on the conveyor belt. Well… that’s how I’d do it at least…

Anyways…

Requirements:
-Hot Dogs
-Bread
-Preheat microwave to power level 10
-Roommates

Directions:
1. Simply take out the amount of hotdogs you want and place it on a microwavable plate.
2. Microwave for 30 seconds*
3. Place nuked dogs on slices of bread, or “borrowed” buns from your roommates
4. Use your roommates ketchup and mustard to compliment the dog, if you’re using relish, then you’re obviously way to high class for this blog. Try looking at a caviar or filet mignon blog instead.
5. Eat it!



*Note on step 2. Generally if you microwave the dog for more than 30 seconds, the seams will break open on the sides and the dog will “explode” I’m not sure what chemical reaction is going on in there to make it combust, but maybe if we utilize it, we could use hot dog juice as an alternate fuel source!
Our goal is to nuke it JUST ENOUGH so that the seams burst just a little bit, if too much, then the ends get hard, if too little, then you’re risking getting worms in your stomach. (at least that’s what I was told in kindergarten) So timing is key. It’s a short enough nuke time that you can probably just watch it cook, if you don’t have that kind of time, then you probably need to loosen up your schedule.


Bon Apatite!

**COMMENT**

What about bulk jbudd??? u bought 6 eggs?!? that cant be more efficient than buying 12...also a block of cheese has to be less money than the fake cheese singles.
-BS

**RESPONSE**

Classic comment from BS. Do you realize that I spelt bologna as balognia that whole last post and you didn’t notice? Shame on you…
And about the eggs, they usually take about 3 months to expire, and if you’re using up more than 6 eggs in 3 months, then you need some serious work on your mooching skills!

END

Recipe #6 and #7

Because my birthday is tomorrow, I'm going to give you guys TWO recipes that are very dear to my heart.  I want you all know that all these recipes are dishes that I actually make and eat.  It's taken me years of trying what works and what doesn't.  I've been to literally SEVERAL college campuses, and these are the formulas that have worked for me and are key to my success in muscularness, buff-ness, and beefy-ness.  So if you have ever woken up in the morning and thought to yourself, "How can I be more like JBUDD?"  this would be a good start.

Ramen na Tuyo

My roommate had a book called,   “101 Things to Do with Ramen Noodles” it was clever, but managed to dodge JBUDDs very own special ramen dish called, “Ramen na tuyo”

Simply open a pack of ramen noodles, and a can of tuna fish… and vuala! You're done!  Because the preperation is so short, you can focus on more important things like, "How do I get that goodness in me?!"

This dish is one of my favorites because again it's nutritional value and time efficiency.  You get all the carbs AND proteins you need in like 0 preparation time!  I guess the preparation is the can opener.  Our can opener was weak sauce, cuz it kept derailing off of the track.  If you're struggling with similar symptoms it might be faster to just open the can with your teeth.  Believe me, I'd know... ;)

Macaroni y ceso a la carte

If you take nothing out of this article but one thing, it would be, “Macaroni and Cheese”  You can never have too much mac and cheese in stock.  The nutrients in that powdered cheese is through the ROOF!  The best part of this noodles and orange powder is that you can always combine it with any of the already discussed ingredients.  Mac and Tuna, Mac and hotdog, Mac and burrito! (a delicacy in some countries)