Friday, June 18, 2010

Recipe #5 - Hot dog de la carte

Next in the bologna family is the hotdog, made from the same meat slurry as bologna, but enhanced by its cylindrical shape. Hot dogs are an important part of a college diet because of its nutritional value. It’s gotta be one of the most nutritional meats out there, cuz each bite is filled with proteins and essential amino acids from like SEVEN different animals!

I’ve always wondered how they make hot dogs. They have that seam down the side of it, makes me think that it’s pressed into a mold. They probably first pick their lineup of animals for the day, “lets see… cow, pig, chicken… what the heck, take Whiskers too!” get a gigantic blender, hit frappe, until they get a nice pinkish red hue of paste like meat, then load the slurry into a big tank that pumps the juice into little meet injectors, which in turn is injected into the hotdog cylinders as they pass by on the conveyor belt. Well… that’s how I’d do it at least…


-Hot Dogs
-Preheat microwave to power level 10

1. Simply take out the amount of hotdogs you want and place it on a microwavable plate.
2. Microwave for 30 seconds*
3. Place nuked dogs on slices of bread, or “borrowed” buns from your roommates
4. Use your roommates ketchup and mustard to compliment the dog, if you’re using relish, then you’re obviously way to high class for this blog. Try looking at a caviar or filet mignon blog instead.
5. Eat it!

*Note on step 2. Generally if you microwave the dog for more than 30 seconds, the seams will break open on the sides and the dog will “explode” I’m not sure what chemical reaction is going on in there to make it combust, but maybe if we utilize it, we could use hot dog juice as an alternate fuel source!
Our goal is to nuke it JUST ENOUGH so that the seams burst just a little bit, if too much, then the ends get hard, if too little, then you’re risking getting worms in your stomach. (at least that’s what I was told in kindergarten) So timing is key. It’s a short enough nuke time that you can probably just watch it cook, if you don’t have that kind of time, then you probably need to loosen up your schedule.

Bon Apatite!

What about bulk jbudd??? u bought 6 eggs?!? that cant be more efficient than buying 12...also a block of cheese has to be less money than the fake cheese singles.

Classic comment from BS. Do you realize that I spelt bologna as balognia that whole last post and you didn’t notice? Shame on you…
And about the eggs, they usually take about 3 months to expire, and if you’re using up more than 6 eggs in 3 months, then you need some serious work on your mooching skills!

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